memores acti prudentes futuri

Malay Beauty 2: The Best Gifts

“Bunga mekar di taman,

baunya semerbak ke mana-mana”

A full bloom flower not only beautiful  in the garden,

but it’s smell scattered all over the place.

Women are happy to receive gifts. It shows thoughtfulness, time, and effort on your part and gives us the sense of being loved and appreciated.  It’s usually innocent; some men are at a loss as to what to buy a woman and end up making some odd choices.  In the Western countries where appreciation towards women have long being practised, in the East especially amongst the Malays, it is never  too late to implement.  Strongly suggest that keep it in diaries/schedule lists of important events,  to celebrate special occasions i.e., the day of love being confessed, engagement anniversary, wedding anniversary, birthdays, graduation days, promotions, Mother’s Day etc., The best gift is the gift that comes unseeked,  the surprise from true hearts, the symbol of appreciation and long last love.

Lastly let me remind you:  MALAY yes you want Beauty but don’t treat them like your ‘alas kaki’ or ‘a rag on your door entrance’. A Malay synonym Malay proverb is ” Hendak dapat pisang terkupas” literally means ‘Want to eat banana that is already been peeled’.

Although we all know that it’s the thought that counts, here are some ideas that most every woman would love (in top down order: the most important as  evaluated by Peacebuy).

1.  Your Undivided Attention

This one tops all others. Really what women want is not all of these material things, but you and your attention. Think of creative places to sit and talk or activities that you both enjoy, and spend time together. Respect and try to share her interests/work.  Understand and to certain extend contribute and participate in what she’s doing.  Women sometimes are like children.  They are filled with sensitive hearts, thus a compliment should existed in your vocab, and do not hesistate to use it when it is due.    Intimacy, that’s what is really important.   She would feel respected and valued at the end of the days

2.    A Banquet of Flowers

This is of course one of the many Western norms, giving a present of flowers.  Usually such gift is considered in Malay society now days ” Dah buat Tebiat” which literally means ” You must be nuts and soon will be dead!”.  Whether it is practical or not, you cannot separate women from flowers, especially considering Malay names for girls traditionally were based on the names of flowers: Melur, Siantan, Cempaka, Mawar, Kesuma, etc.  Considering that such gifts  would be more of an unexpected surprise for her. It would show her that you were thinking about her, not just because you had to get her a gift for a special occasion. Just don’t spend an arm and a leg!

3.   Make Her Dinner

Most ladies will find it a treat to be catered to. You can set the table and light some candles, or simply serve her on a blanket in the backyard. Again this is also another of the Western’s norm that it good to import into our daily routine.  Let put one thing clear here, when the Westerner said ‘Make her Dinner’ it is mean that the cooking comes with a cosy, romantic , clean and tidy setting.  Forget about cooking if at the end of the days she has to crack her bones to clean up a messy kitchen or the bedroom!

4.  Massage or Other Spa Treatment

Instead of trying to guess what treatment she’d like, you have permission to buy a gift card to a local spa. This way, she can choose what she’s comfortable doing. For example, some women may want an hour deep tissue massage while others might opt for a simple mani/pedi. (That’s manicure/pedicure, for those who aren’t familiar with spa lingo!) A nice idea would be to purchase a bottle of massage oil to go with the gift card. That way, you can massage at home, as well!  What I am saying try to be more romantic.

5. Treat  her to Expensive Eatery or a Holiday (air tickets applicable)

Fine dining is not so much about food but more so about the atmosphere, the ambiance.  By bringing her to places like this for dinner, she would feel very much appreciated and thus is one of the best gifts you could ever  give to  a woman you loved. But again the element of suprise should also play a role in this.  Make an effort to know what is the place she dreams to go, or eat or to watch.  For example, a theatre, the revolving Seri Angkasa (Telekom Tower KL), or Kundasang Pine Hotel.

6.  Supplies for her Hobby or Interest

Again, I cannot stress how much getting her something that is directly related to her specific interests will show her that you care about her and what she’s “into.” Think about what she enjoys doing in her spare time. Is she an athlete, a scrap booker, a gardener, a computer geek, ? Pull ideas from what loves to do.

7.  Jewelry

I know this is the place that you dare not mention, but Women and Jewelry is like ‘Isi dan Kuku’ . You knew it was coming. I could not complete this list without mentioning that fine jewelry has been a staple gift for women for centuries or longer. Just make sure it’s not gaudy or too expensive. Do not over lavish her, or else she would become ‘Mami Jarum’  and a gossip amongsts  the neighbours .   Just within your means.

8.   Something Handmade

If you’re the handy type, you might want to show your skills and create a masterpiece for your beloved. Just make sure you have the right skills to complete what you have in mind.  A simple hand made poem on a piece of tree bark, or a clothe and send for a frame would be very meaningful for her.

9.  An offer for a Helper

If  it is within your means, offer your spouse the service of a maid/helper.  It could be a live-in maid or house cleanner who is paid by the hour.  Take note that household chores are not the resposibility of your spouse.  So do not burden her with menial, non intellectual, no- stop daily routine.  Get a maid!

10.    Treat her family too

You would show her that you appreciate her more by not forgetting to share a little bit of your quality time and wealth by with her family.  This is done by treating her family on some special occasions.  Your wife/spouse’s family reunion/get together initiated and organised by yourself, is truly an understanding how much you appreciate this group  of people you called ‘in-laws’ for bring up the woman that is half of you!

Don’t be like “ Bunga disunting, perdu ditendang”.


In places the Qur’an says women are equal to men before God; in places women are commanded to be considered property of men and to be valued at half of what men are valued.[1]

Women are two units of a pair. The Quran says: “O mankind! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other; surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty); surely Allah is Knowing, Aware.” (Quran 49:13). [2], [3]. Meaning that they complement each other in numerous ways both in mental, physical and emotional qualities.

Sources: Wikepedia


Filed under: Customs & Etiquette, General Issues

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